Here’s the list:1.
The doctors are saying it’s an airborne Ebola variant…
Yes, I’m sneezing.
Should I come in anyway?
‘"The plate in my dog’s head froze last night.
I’ve got to get up there; I’m the only one who can talk her down.2.
Rent ski flicks in July5.
Rack up 10,000 verts at a ski area with less than 500 vertial7.
Be the first one into an untracked bowl as patrol drops the rope8.
Give first tracks to someone else9.
Put your boots on in August and walk around the yard10.
Tune your mom’s skis12.
Ride a T-bar on a snowboard to reaffirm you love of skiing13.
Take a nonskiing friend skiing14.
Drive through a raging snowstorm on a lonely road at night not go skiing16.
Know how to make a hot toddy17.
Flirt with a lift op18.
Hike for your turnsAnd here’s why:10.
You didn’t buy a lift ticket with a fine print warning about the skiing at your own risk.9.
Nobody is cell phoning his broker in the lift line.8.
Everybody you ski with has nice big thighs.7.
Parts of your lungs get air for the first time in years.5.
It isn’t nearly as disfiguring when you run into a tree going uphill4.
If you take a big spill, nobody yells insults from the chair above.3.
Fun tickets in your wallet don’t keep changing into lift tickets on your jacket.2.
After a while you learn to really love the pain.1.
Then spend the day skiing the crevasse-strewn Vallee Balance back down into Chamonix.
Eat a jambon sandwitch along the way.20.
Own a chainsaw, cut your own line through the woods.
Ski under a full moon23.
Ski at Aspen wearing camouflage pants, a fluorecent orange knit hat, and a hockey jersey24.
Ski at Pine Knob, Michigan, wearing real fur25.
Dance in your ski boots26.
Take a huge biffer on ice in the parking lot28.
Get a letter published in Skiing magazine29.
Master the one-finger farmer’s blow.30.
Ski with Billy Kidd in Steamboat and with Stein Eriksen in Deer Valley31.
Take a road trip33.
In a single day34.
Get snowed in at a ski resort35.
Ski a full day, from first chair to closing bell…all on high speed lifts36.
Use a rope tow to reaffirm your appreciation for padded chair-lifts37.
Every year, catch a flake from the first storm of the season on your tounge38.
Ski until you are over 70 so you’re free to ski free39.
Ride around the bullwheel, on purpose or not40.
Go to the Winter Olympics41.
Get risque in a gondola, preferably with someone42.
Click into your skis, set at max DIN, and ride on the roof of a moving car45.
Go to a Warren Miller movie46.
Donate clothing, equipment, money, or your time to a ski program for disadvanated youth48.
Take a hut trip50.
Win one of those stupid little NASTAR pins51.
Pack 10 people into a one-bedroom condo52.
Sleep in your car in a ski-area parking lot53.
Scam a lift ticket54.
Memorize Squirrel’s lines from Hot Dog…The Movie55.
Ski a long bump run without stopping - and nail it56.
Ski alone all day, telling outrageous lies about yourself to the people you meet on the chair57.
Ski all day with a group of ripping locals.
Tell them what you really do58.
Own a classic wool ski sweater59.
Rely on duct tape to keep something essentail together60.
Be a ski bum61.
Hike and ski a fourteener62.
Make as few turns as possible in a single run64.
Make as many turns as possilbe in a singe run65.
Ski perfect California corn snow in the spring67.
Pond skim during a spring fest; make it only half way across69.
Ride down the mountain in a ski-patrol sled70.
Later, tell war stories about your injury in the bar71.
Cartwheel in deep powder.
Get up laughing hysterically72.
Ski in a halfpipe, without looking stupid73.
On a sunny June day, hike and ski Tuckerman Ravine on New Hampshire’s Mount Washington.
Have lunch on Lunch Rocks like thousands of skiers have done since the early 1900’s.75.
Skin in summer in the Southern Hemisphere76.
Keep a gummi stone in your pocket77.
Ski something that scares the holy bejesus out of you79.
Fart in a crowded gondola and blame it on your friend81.
Bobsled at Lake Placid; ski jump at Park City82.
Ski the Sierra High Route from Mount Whitney to Sequoia park83.
Drag a snowboarder on the flats while skiing84.
Go on a winter camping ski trip85.
Know how to make killer chili86.
Do the Haute Route in the Alps87.
Do a slalom shot at NYC’s Ski Bar88.
Ski a vintage trail: a narrow, windy, Eastern run cut in the ‘30;s89.
Learn how to avoid dying in an avalanche by taking a backcountry safety course90.
Ski in denim…and rip91.
Help a stranger find a lost ski in deep powder92.
Take a really good lesson93.
Ski south of the Mason-Dixie line94.
Ski north of the Arctic Circle95.
Find a copy of Ski Party.
Remain standing while watching eight hours of the 24 Hours of Aspen downhill race97.
Buy a patch from the ski area you grew up skiing.
Sew it on your jacket.
Ski once in every 12 months102.
Go to a summer camp.103.
Jump into an airbag or pool.
