A Jerrys Guide to the Terrain Park
Jerries and Jerettesyoure reading this because youve had enough.
You have skied one too many blue groomers.
Your hands are cold.
Youre slow, and your friends are even slower.
You hear the sonorous clang of rails as the park rats disaster the double kink.
You hear the satisfying thud of the park rats landing their cork 5 blunts to bolts.
Know this, aspiring rat; there is no point in fighting this calling.
Once you get a taste of the park, your skiing life will never be the same.
And because youre reading this, you already haveso theres no turning back.
With these two rules you will immediately surpass roughly half of all park skiers in potential.
One of our largest hurdles as human beings is our need for acceptance.
The best way to gain this acceptance is through being honest, genuine, and kind.
Everybody did at one point.
Anyone calling you out for your major suckiness is loudly declaring insecurity in themselves.
This isnt inherently a bad thing, but it is usually a very limiting mentality.
This rule, when correctly applied effectively removes your skill ceiling (assuming you are able bodied).
Most of this sign is a non-liability declaration from the resort and they cant really care if you die.
To be fair, given youre into park skiing, neither do you.
However, there are some things of value to be taken from this posting.
For one, it should tell you to be aware.
This is a quite a broad statement.
You do not need to be spiritually aware/awakened like B-dog.
This applies to all 360 degrees around you.
If you gotta cross a landing,look upto see if someone is about to hit the feature.
Of course, ski with confidence.
Go into there like you know what youre doingeventually youwillknow, so why are you worried?
On this sign, sometimes there is also the phrase start small, work your way up.
That being said, adrenaline is a powerful tool when harnessed correctly.
Sometimes you have to be scared, and thats part of the game.
But not too scared.
Not when it clouds your ability to envision the trick you are about to try.
Start the day with features and tricks in your comfort zone.
Push yourself by feel as the day progresses.
Only you will really know what tricks you’ve got the option to do.
You may suddenly find yourself knee-deep in merch from ski companies and groups.
Use these tools to find your brothers and sisters in the featureless, icy groomer that is real life.
Or watch TGR edits from 2009.
Whatever floats your boat.
New park skier FAQ
What about my skis?Do not worry about your skis.
When they break, get twin tips.
What about my boots?Refer to the Newschoolers.com forums for a unanimous boot recommendation.
Are my boots too big?I don’t know, are they?
Go to a bootfitter.
My shins hurt!Stop skiing backseat (butt far behind your heels).
Apply forward pressure, push your shins against the front of your boots.
You also gain more control of your skis like this.
They still hurt!Take an advil.
Should I wear a helmet?Yes.
How do I explain park skiing to my parents?
Other non-park skiers?Good luck.
Report back to us if you make a breakthrough.
Who is skierman?Skierman is an experience, not a person.
The day he graces your post with his reply is the day your life changes forever.
But tread lightly, for this change is usually not for the better.
I dont think anybody really knows.
Do we really stop to ask?
Luckily for you there are no park-rat-philosophers.
We ski the park because we like it, and because we dont care about the rules.
If you like this article, Ill do more guides on specific parts of park like feature types.
