The price of a pass is the same as two lift tickets?
Well shit, let’s go!
It ended up exactly like last year, planned to the last minute with mostly strangers.
Hood, where it was pissing rain.
All would soon be well though, we were about to go skiing the next day.
One of three days all year that lifts had been closed.
What are the chances?
We fled to the nearby city of Sandy for the first time.
Well, until rain accumulated on top of it and wrecked it.
Alcohol makes everything better, and we indulged in quite a bit of whiskey that night.
This is when Kyle discovers he loves whiskey.
Five days into our trip, and we were broken and miserable.
The rain, snow, and skiing situation had us completely dejected.
Her name was Verizon Girl, and I’m pretty sure she was hot.
The Verizon store is where we discover that Kyle loves parkour.
Our night in Portland was amazing.
We had hot food, showers, TV, and a dry place to sleep.
He was knocked over into a puddle.
My friends are retarded.
Clean and ready for more, we left the next morning ready to ski.
As we re-entered Sandy from Portland, the battery gauge in the van started dropping.
Does your car even have a battery gauge?
Mine doesn’t, but this ‘95 Ford Aerostar did.
We pulled over and let the van die after the headlights, wipers, and speedometer stopped working.
The battery and alternator were toast.
Cue $300+ spent and and an entire day wasted walking across town.
In the waiting room of a repair shop, Kyle discovers he loves coffee.
This day is also when our spree of petty theft begins.
We are so good at roadtrip.
We met some new neighbors and tossed a couple beers back around their fire.
Actually, Kyle had already met one of them the night we set up snares.
Our neighbors think we are retarded.
Over a week into our trip, we finally get a sunny day.
We dubbed it Magical Monday on the Magical Mile.
We made asses of ourselves.
There was puke and piss everywhere.
Our neighbors think we are retarded.
A few days after that, I met my second love of the trip.
Her name was Hot Chocolate Girl and she was hot.
I actually don’t remember what she looks like either.
She was worth three points, I talked to her several times, and got a hug.
I should probably explain the game we play on ski trips now.
It’s the talking to girls game.
Every girl you talk to is worth one point.
Hugs are worth two points, you get the idea, the points reset every day.
Well, I thought I was doing pretty good.
Then I saw the braces.
She keeps running into me the next couple days and talking to me.
Jesus, how old did she think I was?
All my friends have beards.
My friends now think I will shortly end up in jail.
On our last night though, Kyle acquires some gasoline in a five gallon can.
Eventually we get some flames going, but Kyle keeps hosing it with the gas can.
It happened pretty quick, the flames shot back up the stream into the can.
Kyle drops it and we all hide behind trees, staring at our flaming gas can.
Kyle is freaking out and we are all yelling at him to douse it with some water bottles.
There is also a tree in between him and the gas can.
Somehow, Kyle finds his balls and puts out the fire.
My friends are retarded.
See you in five weeks to do it all again T-Line.
The Edit
Circle 13: My Friends are Retarded
